how am i supposed t be a filial daughter when u kept shouting at me day and night.
it really hurt my fucking ears .can u just give me a fucking break from ur shoutings,scoldings,ur hurtful words that me feel so dumb.
well today i did speak up didnt i? and i hope it really hurt u deep enough to think through wad u've done to me all tiz while.
not knowing tat u have cut me a million pieces of slices in my heart .
and today i speak my lungs out till u kept quiet dint u.
and tiz is wad i said to make u shut up ''when u grow old dont ever come knocking on my door asking me to help you,and when im officially 21 dont ever bother asking about me again cos im nvr coming bck to tiz fucking house again.im gonna rent a house and sit all by myself.and you cant fucking do anything cos im 21!
do wad ever you want and i will nvr come back only when its time for me to get married then i will send u an invitation card''.
hw?does tat hurt u huh asshole!
and i even said im just sitting here on this current house im staying malay say tompang je.
bukan duduk.means sit.when its the right time for me to go out i will go out and will never stay on staying here.
i sometimes feel that i wanted to stay in hostel the one cecilia is in.i wonder wad has she done until shes there.i wanted to find out so that i can get caught and stay there.no need to see ur fucking faces anymore.even if they give me home leave also i dont want go back and see ur all.
then u will know how is life without me?
i really feel like running away from home siaa..cant stand all this nonsense alr.im 18 leh mummy not primary kid okeh?
cant u see that ive changed for the better?
u cant see it right?
from last time till now i still find last time is worse.not coming back for a week and all.
im in the teenage years can?
let me grow up to be a normal person can?
let me go through the stuff ive never been through can?
='(
u simply dont see the changes ive made.
all my friends also u got boundaries.
all i do also got wrong.
what is right for me in your eyes arh?
treat me like a piece of dumbshit!
i find that u are very calculative.
you hate me because im not like ur other children.
im trying to cope up with the other children behaviour of yours but i cant.they are in their own world.tats y i cant interact with them.
ben even say u and ur brother close arh?
i just feel like haaacckk puuiiii!!
whr got close all tat are just a piece of fucking drama.
im my house its all drama.
i noe u dont love me but cant u pretend tat u love me and i will feel at ease once?
but i will try my best to prove u wrg while im still alive.
i will mean all those words ive said and will never turn back!
u really hurt me deep tis time i swear!
no one noes tat ive been tolerating ur nonsense for 8 years now.i still remember the first vulgarity u use on me when i was 10.the number is 10 mum.
i remembered!wad bout you?
somemore want to blame me y i scold vulgarities?
i learnt it from you!
yes you!
and im blaming you for tat!
and for you dad u say u go in and out of mosque then scold vulgarities,hit me with ur heart contents then wads the point of being good to people but not to your daughter?
ur own flesh and blood!
i really dont know wad to say alr boud ur all.all i wanted is just to fly!
fly,fly,fly,fly.fly
FLY aminah!