Friday, July 24, 2009 9:28 PM

im damn worried.
exams are like a few weeks away and lots of problems crop up at this time of point.damn stressful siaa..i cnnt take too much stress..and i thinks lots of my friends can see cos ive been asking for chocs every now and then.and im gaining lots of weight and thats one of my worries as im afraid i might have health problems as im already a heavy smoker.

my mum wants me to fail my n level
my dad hates me like shit
my brother hates me like shit
my sister despise me.
my friends idk.
my cousins look down on me as im alr 18 ive do not own any qualifications yet!

i just feel like running away from home.
i feel so problematic!
its like ive been studying like shit and stuffs then MY OWN MUM ask me to give up as she never see me studying when she sleeping like a pig i study like hell in the kitchen and this is the reason why i can never get to sch on time.i always get to bed at 2-4 in the morning then at 7-8 get up.u imagine everyday like that wont die mehh..and somemore the stressful part that i just heard mr cheong wants to take me out from class during lessons time just to do cwo! omg!!!!
another thing i confirm can die cos when i am studying he wants me to come out which i cant bear to do at all.everything is just so precious to me.even a min counts.im always busy either im working or studying or just sth else. the reason for my late night studying its because i cant find peace at home until its night time. and also some time make noise because why i on the kitchen light.then what im supposed to study with huh?candles?
i really really feel like shit right now. seriously why am i born into this family which hates me alot?! i dont get love instead i got hate!
haiyaa..its not that i ask for alot all that ive asked for is just 2 dollars per day from monday to friday thats it!
the rest no need.
imagine she doesnt have to top up my ezlink and all.no need buy me clothes all this. lucky right this kind of parents where the child doesnt work stabiliy but pays everything for herself! and my pay is only afew few pathetic hundred and ive got to pay all by myself not forgetting im a smoker. sometimes i feel like just giving up on this n level thing but deep down inside that not what i want at all its the surroundings thats forcing me to do it! so all i have to do is strengthten my poor weak soul thats craving for love.
its just so complicated!
haiss...

Friday, July 3, 2009 1:33 AM

i know that we are not that serious.but spare a thought for me will ya?
putting up guys pictures on msn and claiming that thats ur friend?
common la! ive played this trick before.god!
im alr so stressed up somemore u add salt to the injury.
you have changed.
you are not the one i used to have.ive lost you.lost you in many ways.
maybe im in the wrong! i shouldnt be in a relationship with you as i always know that love hurts and the word love is a lie! to me it doesnt exists!
ive always hate it since my first love left me and from there i believed that love doesnt exists!
its all fake and fiction!
and now im wondering getting close to cousins is also very difficult.
its a guy..when we care too much he would ignore and when we dont care he would find and when i replied he went silent and never come back.weird uhh.cacat!
haiss..my company is still the best!

bored bored bored!


N LEVELS DONT COME NEAR PLEASE!
its giving me depression that i cant take too much if not i will go crazy.
im not doing enough for you!
im not ready at all.
can i retain for another year?
i wouldnt mind cos this is my life.
i dont care what people will think.this is my life that im gna lead not theirs.
its my path not theirs.i will set it straight and not crooked!
i wanna be smart!
feeling very very very worried!*shivers