Tuesday, May 19, 2009 6:21 PM

im so cocked up!
i felt so lost!
i dont need mum to hit me alr and i can feel damn lost!
her words really cut me deep till idk what to do alr.
i took wadeva i could and went down lucky isra and raziq was there if not i think i would be lost maybe in the terrace again.
i drew and drew wadeva i could but to no avail.
my anger is sill there.and still angry.
mums talks like i owe her my life like that.
wtf?? nonsense eh she..cocked up!
she never understands me at all..
she says all the past time stuffs again again! and im fucking sick of listening to it!
drugs came out,never coming back came out,police came out,petapis came out,urine test came out,retaining came out,bpc came out,court came out,people talking about me came out.everything laaa.asshole. i told her ive changed alr not like last time still dont want believe what can i do?
nothing what!!
bunch of suckers.
the other day just happy happy talk about my future like that then today...COCKED UP!
supposed to go out then cancelled due to mother.
i hate it when i cancelled sth ive planned to do.
the reason for our fight was i bought a bar of chocolate at 3 in the morning today.
whats the big deal??
chocolate only what!
cacat!
!!@#@#$!@#$%%&*&*%$#@@@#$$%^&*&%#!@#$^^&*(&&^$@@@@#$$$****&&&^^***^^&*****%%%^^&$$%%######
all those rubbish came out!
and seriously im really tired of it.sick and tired until felt so helpless,hopeless and useless..
i feel that im born just to listen to mum scoldings and scoldings and scoldings.
are all mums born to us to be scolded at? shouted at? sweared at?
nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts nuts
i hate you mummy!!!
i really hate you!
all my future plans haved changed now! no more taking care of you alr.you can get out of my bloody sight when im out from this house.
yea! you treat me like a piece of shit when i was younger so why must i be nice to you in the future? i want to have a heart made up of stone not a soft heart! although i have a damn soft heart! im gonna make it hard when it comes to you! wars not over mum! it will never be over between you and me!


i think i should avoid everybody now
nobody cares so why should i?
im lazy alr to do wadeva.i wanna get a job and flee...
i want to go to australia at the end of the year by myself!