its like six thirty now and i still havent got a wink of sleep.
all thanks to my uneasy heart.
crying out the whole night was a good thing to do though.thats what i just did and i just stopped. cried from 12 till 615 when finally ive really calm down.
things are just getting so much worser for me.i just dont know why and i have decided to leave those i love. seriously i have my reasons. you guys will be much better off without me.okays?
although my number one fear in this bad world is being alone.
im telling myself that i have to independent now. stop depending on others.
well i gave my farewell to isra and syaqinah and ben already.
i am not sure whether do they take it seriously or not but i do.
i dont know what make me made my decision this way but i think thats the best solution for me and my friends.
haiss..its hard for as well as for them but i will try and live with it.
this is my consequence for not coming to school punctually and daily.
its not that i dont want come. its really at night i was studying trying to make up all those words that i dont understand makes sense.
im a very slow learner but i do my best to understand the concept.
mummy is always putting pressure on me which i dont understnd why?!
like crazy mother i have.call my teachers, come to school just to let them know that i have not been coming punctually and regularly. sometimes i really want to put her in a mental asylum but i dont have the heart to. my heart is just too soft!
which child doesnt loves the mother? well i guess no one right. everyone loves their parents. its just that they dont show it and express it and the people are like me.
i simply dont know how to express my love to them cos its just way too complicated!
in their eyes im just a troublemaker and nothing else.
now me and my mum are not in talking terms which i dont understnd why..
well ive set my goals and i want to achieve it! i dont want just say only but action speak louder than words.
and theres this guy in my school a silent reader of my blog which actually i have not seen him around the school eventhough i have been 7 years in this crap school.
well..i dint know he existed but one thing for sure; he has a good heart. he said something that moved me.
well i was touched by his words seriously. i think out of 20 of my friends you are the only one that would say all those words and you know what?
ThAnK yOu! =)